Hebrews 4:12-13 "For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account."

All articles are written using the NKJV, unless otherwise noted! All articles are written by David Hicks, unless specified otherwise.

Will You Marry Me?”

Part V

How much do you know about marriage?

In observance of humanity, I am persuaded to believe that too many know too little about this subject. I invite you to study this very important theme as God has instructed and instituted this union.

The need is obvious. It is obvious by the fact that two out of three marriages end in divorce today (a stat that has even found its way into the “Body of Christ”). It is obvious by the advice given by marriage counselors, preachers, in-laws, lawyers, advice columnists, and by this entire like. It is obvious by the attitude of many of our civil authorities, Senators, representatives, and so on. It is obvious by the teaching that our children are exposed to in our public schools.

It is interesting to note that none of the above, including most preachers, refer to God’s word in dealing with marital problems, or even teaching in advance the understanding of marriage as God has revealed it. God’s word affirms that there is not a problem that a husband or wife may have that God doesn’t answer.

The key is: APPLICATION!!!

In lesson four, we began a study of the husband’s responsibilities in the marriage relationship. We found that God gave him to be head or overseer of that relationship. As such, he is to be an example and he is to so fulfill this responsibility as to gain and deserve the respect of his wife. We also found that he is to love his wife, that is, he is to be devoted to her and show her affection.

In this lesson, let us begin by examining Paul’s instruction for the husband to nourish and cherish his wife.

Nourish –

This is a concept that is at the very foundation of a successful marriage and at the heart of the man’s responsibility.

Ephesians 5:28-29So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”

The fact exists that if every husband truly loves his wife as he loves himself, he will treat his wife as he treats himself. If he fails to do this he fails in his responsibility to cherish her.

The very meaning of the word nourish illustrates that he must feed, support, maintain, and care for her needs. In this, he is to feed, support, maintain, and care for her as he does for himself.

The word carries an understanding of a working knowledge in the work of a nurseryman; the pure care for that which is in need of sustenance, warmth, and care. Can a husband nourish his wife if he is absent? Can he nourish her in disrespect? Can he nourish her by treating her as a possession?


They are one flesh, and he must care for her in the same way he would for himself, without question. Any man that cannot see the need and the value in this is not ready to give himself in marriage!

The standard for the extent of his responsibility to nourish his wife is set by the standard that the Lord set for nourishing “His Body”, the church!

Ephesians 5:25-27Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”

Cherish –

The word “Cherish” is similar in nature to “Nourish”, but adds to it; “To hold dear”, “To treat tenderly”, “To protect”, and “To cling to”.  

The same rule applies here as before, he is to do this for her as he would do this for himself.

Can you feature calling yourself terrible names in private or public, running yourself down to others, being disloyal to yourself, beating yourself, or in general being cruel to yourself??? Wouldn’t you think that a man who would willingly do these things to himself is mentally unstable??? Is he any less deranged if he does the same to his wife???

If in fact if he is mentally stable and still treats his wife with this amount of disrespect, then he is a criminal before the Lord!

Fact #1:

Proverbs 18:22He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.”

If you cannot see the value inherent in your wife, or you don’t think she is what she should be, look in the mirror and see if perhaps you are the reason. Do you see her real value? Are you treating her as yourself? Is she the most precious thing to you under God?

Fact #2:

1 Peter 3:7Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

If we cannot understand that she needs from us as much as we want from her, we will never honor her, or create the environment of mutual growth (a complete lack of nurseryman care = no growth).  

Fact #3:

In the combination of lesson four and five, the fact stands that the man has the greatest responsibility first (not the only responsibility, as we will study next); but that he establishes the foundations of godly love in the home (the responsibility of a leader).

He sees his bride above all other women, seeks to be with her, shares himself with her completely, relies on her as his confidante, is completely interested in her needs, and all that would describe harmonic unity (one flesh). 

Next: “Responsibilities of the Wife!”