All articles are written using the NKJV, unless otherwise noted! All articles are written by David Hicks, unless specified otherwise.

Mind Your Manners

July – August Edition of American Profile (page 10).

Teaching Your child good manners is a great way to make the world, community and home a better place.

“When kids have good manners, society benefits for years to come,” says Kelly Frager, a children’s etiquette instructor in Mount Airy, Md. (pop. 6,425).

Here are suggestions from several etiquette and behavior experts for getting kids to mind their manners:

[Editor’s note:] We once again see that the wisdom for the benefit of social mankind has already been the purview of God.

Proverbs 20:11Even a child is known by his deeds,
Whether what he does is pure and right.”

Proverbs 22:6Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Start at home. Mealtime is the most important occasion for teaching manners, says Lisa Taylor Richey, founder of the American Academy of Etiquette in Wayne, Pa. At mealtime, children can learn table manners as well as conversation skills.

Be a manners model. “Parents must do more than teach,” says Corinne Gregory, founder of Social Smarts in Bellevue, Wash. “‘Do as I say, not as I do’ doesn’t work.”

[Editor’s note:] It is a fact that children will mimic the deeds of their parents. If the deeds are good, theirs will follow, if evil, likewise, note:

2 Kings 17:41So these nations feared the LORD, yet served their carved images; also their children and their children’s children have continued doing as their fathers did, even to this day.”

Deuteronomy 4:9Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren

Practice makes perfect. Walk your child through scenarios beforehand. “Is your high school son going on a date? Practice shaking the parents’ hands, making eye contact and saying ‘nice to meet you,” Frager advises.

Explain why. Manners are about honoring one another, says author Mimi Meredith, of Phoenix. “Say things like, ‘Didn’t you feel special when Grandmother looked you in the eyes and listened to your story without interrupting?’” she suggests.

[Editor’s note:] 1 Thessalonians 2:11as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children

Don’t reward rudeness. “Many parents reward rude behavior because they’re tired or worn down.” Says psychotherapist Susan Pease Banitt, of Portland, Ore. “If you give in, children learn this is the way to get what they want.”

[Editor’s note:] Learning requires discipline! Discipline should never be associated with abuse or anger, but as a tool associated with education.

Hebrews 12:7-9If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?”

Teach the Golden Rule – to treat others the way that you would like to be treated. “If you can’t remember specifics,” advises Gregory, “remember that good manners never violate the Golden Rule”   

[Editor’s note:] Jesus truly taught the Jews the true understanding of the Law of Moses in relations between brethren, note:

Matthew 7:12Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

However, as the kingdom of heaven would be brought to man, and the doctrine of its King would be the new rule; the golden rule would be elevated to platinum, note:

John 13:14-15If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.

John 13:34-35A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.””

Philippians 2:3-4Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

We, as Christian parents, must remember that the charge of the Lord is vital for the safety and proper growth of our children, so they will know what is pure and right! We must demonstrate it in our lives, and instruct it to our children who watch and learn from us. This is true with ‘manners’, and all other aspects of their education.

Ephesians 6:1-4Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

David 5/25/2011